I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
