I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
