Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
