so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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