butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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