I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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