You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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