a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
