So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Alive.
So much puke
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
