Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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