i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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