My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
