There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
