she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
