Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
