no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
