i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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