She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
