I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
