On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize
