I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
