I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
