no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
