The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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