I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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