I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
