that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
