i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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