he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
