I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
