butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just high enough for therapy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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