What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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