there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
