Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
