She's JV to your varsity
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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