summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
