Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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