i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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