Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
