it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
