Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
