dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
