kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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