Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
