What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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