Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
