he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Boobs speak an international language.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
