just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
