I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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