Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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